Sleepy Hollow said goodbye for the season with a two-hour season finale extravaganza, and holy crap, what the hell, this show is amazing and infuriating and I can’t wait until next fall! Never has a show been so terrible and so wonderful at the same time. The plot is inexplicably convoluted, the characters go every which way, the moral compass is a hot mess and I just love it so much I can’t even stand it!
The show opens with Abbie Mills leaving a voice message for Ichabod. Which means we finally get to see her apartment, which is weird because a) I didn’t realize we hadn’t yet, it seems we’d be comfortably at home in the lead female’s house. And b) It’s not at all how I pictured it, Abbie never struck me as the granite counter top type.
I pictured her in a more homey place, with wallpaper and comfy furniture. This apartment seemed so old and sterile.
Undead Andy is back and he’s behind her. She turns around holding a knife and says, “We need to talk about boundaries.” Yes, so much yes, Sleepy Hollow.
Abbie and Undead Andy go on to have a serious talk in which he plants doubt in Abbie’s head about Ichabod’s loyalty.
He tells her that Ichabod himself will deliver her soul to Moloch, and she shouldn’t go out of her way to save him. This plays out throughout the episode, and I’m not at all sure she’s totally wrong in distrusting Ichabod a little bit. More on that later.
Over at Ichabod’s, he’s continuing to go all National Treasure and trying to figure out what’s hidden in Washington’s bible. Suddenly, he remembers something about Lazarus and rushes out to meet Abbie at their secret lair. How he managed to get from his cabin in the woods to the center of town is beyond me, maybe he learned to drive and bought a car. Maybe he took a taxi or perhaps he owns a horse? It’s inconsistencies like this that make me hate this show.
Anyway, together they discover a new passage in the bible, which Washington wrote to Ichabod, apparently he knew about the whole “burying Ichabod alive to wake up in the Apocalypse” concept. He wrote this passage after he died, because he became a zombie for a while in order to write it?
At this revelation I audibly yell directly at my television, “COME ON!” Isn’t this breaking some unwritten rule? Thou shalt not make important historical figures into zombies? Never-the-less, I was hooked. These writers know how to hook a gal, what can I say?
The rest of the episode involves the two trying to find Washington’s tomb, which contains a map leading to purgatory. Ichabod is all “I’m finally gonna save Katrina” and Abbie is all “Maybe saving the world from total annihilation is a little more important than your cray cray witch wife?” And I have to agree.
Undead Andy becomes a slimy no-genital-having wasp/zombie creature and tries to kill them in the tomb, but in true National Treasure rip off, the gang escapes through a hidden Masonic passageway.
Meanwhile, Captain Irving takes the fall when fellow cops start digging into the deaths of two policemen back when his daughter was possessed by a demon in the last episode. The season ends with him going to jail, which I’m sure will get quickly resolved next season.
They do eventually find the map and Abbie decides she wants to destroy it, at Undead Andy’s suggestion. They do, but you know that Ichabod and his photographic memory. Never mind that he destroyed it to show Abbie she could trust him. He went right ahead and drew another one, because Moloch couldn’t get his hands on that one, right?!
They go to purgatory to get Katrina. I really don’t know why Abbie is so into this idea, as Katrina turns out to be completely useless when it comes to slaying anything! God she sucks. She can’t even get a stick to float in the air right. Anyway, it turns out Undead Andy was right, and Abbie ends up staying in purgatory in place of Katrina. Apparently she can only leave if there’s another soul to take her place. Tough break.
What comes next is my favorite moment in the entire season: Ichabod and Abbie embrace tightly, and Ichabod promises to come back with Katrina right after they defeat the second horseman. He tells her Katrina will take her place as soon as possible and to “remember our bond”. You can feel the love, people! And at all this, Katrina stands there with this look on her face:
“I know I’ve been stuck here for two hundred years and that we supposedly love each other a whole lot, but sure Ichabod, I’ll come right back to take Abbie’s place after we kill the second horseman…ass.” Poor Katrina, just kill her off already.
The last few minutes of this epic crazy train are the craziest ever. If you saw it, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you haven’t seen it, I can’t spoil it for you. It’s that good. Go right now and watch it on Hulu, or whatever device you choose. See you in the fall!
Latest posts by Ana Lugo (see all)
- Waiting On 30 - March 27, 2014
- I Learned English By Watching ‘Clueless’ - March 25, 2014
- Sleepy Hollow Recap: Season Finale A Double Feature Of Amazing - January 22, 2014
